Stress on Your Relationship

Bringing home your first baby can be one of the most joyous times you and your partner will share as a couple. However, with new responsibilities come new situations where you and your partner may not be on the same page. At CSP, we believe that for parents to feel the most effective in their parenting roles, they must have a good line of open communication with their partner. Here are some resources on having those tough conversations to set you up for success!

Making Time

In this article from The Gottman Institute, they suggest some conversations you can have each day to keep your communication line open. They suggest that by dedicating a specific time to really listen to one another free from distractions, you can bring up an issue and resolve it before it has time to fester. By talking through issues as they arise, parents have less time to let animosity or resentment grow. The biggest tip to remember is that when it comes to being parents, you and your partner are always on the same team. And open communication ensures that it always feels that way.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/one-conversation-new-parents-need-stay-connected/

Tackling Tough Topics

In our next article, learn about eight specific problems parents may face in their relationship after their baby arrives. No matter what you thought your parenting style would be like pre-baby, things usually change once that baby is demanding a lot of attention. While some parents think they will have strong ideas about when they want their baby to sleep, if they want their baby to use a pacifier, how long they want to breastfeed, etc., those ideas tend to be more flexible, which can cause stress if the parents do not agree. For example, one parent might want the baby to “cry it out” (what researchers call the Ferber Method) to self-soothe, while the other parent may want to hold the baby immediately once it starts to cry. This article discusses how to navigate those tricky decisions without creating tension between parents.

https://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/staying-close/marriage-after-baby/

Redefining Roles

Some parents feel a sense of loss once their baby arrives. It’s easy to mourn how spontaneous you were as a couple when you were not responsible for another human’s well-being.  However, with a little creativity, you can work towards a good balance of making intentional time for one another like before, without compromising your parental responsibilities. For example, this article from HealthLine suggests making it a priority to try new things with your partner. Something as simple as trying out a new coffee shop can fuel your sense of self and help you bond with your partner. In addition to spending good quality time with  each other, this article recommends talking to your partner about getting adequate “me time.”    While it is easy to get wrapped up in taking care of your baby 24/7, it is important to create time for yourself to recharge (and ensure your partner also has adequate personal time.) More on that here:

https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/relationship-changes-after-baby

 

The Difference of Perspective

Oftentimes, one parent feels misunderstood or that they are carrying a larger load than the other. At CSP, we know that it is important to view the issue from both parents’ perspectives to

create the best possible solution. In this article from parents.com, three specific issues are examined from each parent’s viewpoint, along with some expert insight. Check out these highlights here:

https://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/sex-and-marriage-after-baby/how-to-stay-close-after-baby/